Bacon Says...Curiosity Killed The Cat

I've always been a pretty curious person. I like to explore the unknown and ask a lot of questions. I like to discuss controversial topics to see how people react and then try to figure out why they reacted that way. I like to spice conversations up with crazy topics, ideas, and thoughts. I like for people to be left wondering when I leave them...like wtf? Lol When I went wandering off as a child or asked people a lot of questions my mother would say, "You know curiosity killed the cat!" But I didn't care, I want to know everything about everyone that I meet. SO, I ask questions that lead to other questions that eventually lead to the asnwer I was getting at all along. Anywho, this kind of does and kind of doesn't have anything to do with the poem I am about to share with you. It's in a way about a person who is curious to know how letting something out would affect their life. Kind of a collaboration of people I've met throughout life. I hope you enjoy it :)

u kno...kinda like wen u feel like u shoud say sumthin,

but yu fear it will mess up a gud thing,
but u also think "how could things get any worse"
then u remember wat life was like b4 them...
and yu wonder if yu'll regret wat u said after yu say it,
tho u hope it wont cuz u need the weight lifted off ur heart...

yep...thats where we are

Behind closed doors...
she walks around with her head lowered, avoiding eye contact
fearing that their eyes will pierce rite thru to her soul and find out the secret that lies within
fearing that acceptance will no longer be an option
just fearing...that the world will be turn right side up, becuz its already upside down

and she wonders,
it cant be true rite...because God wouldnt put sum1 in a situation that they cant handle
having faith that He wont let her struggle alone but still fearing that this will b the end
He wouldnt send yu into a war unprepared
and she knos she lacks the necessities
The armour: confidence

she cries...because she knows that no1 will understand
which is why she asks so many questions just to see if its even an option to open up
& wen she asks...she gets her answer...& its always the same
tho its still always been a question up until this point

[When she says thats not wat she wants...thats exactly what she means
its not denial...its realization and truth]

in public...
she puts up this front
telling every1 that when God was handing out hearts...he skipped her
she remained cold...& lonely
and even now, tho they think she is breaking out f her shell...shes only just becoming comfortable infront of the people whom she shouldve always been able to run to, but never was
in the new environment...
shes still hiding
wanting very badly to break out and start fresh...but realizing that it will haunt her
realizing she is all alone and that's her fault...for running away
but she couldnt help it...so could yu blame her
she tlks to the only person in this early world that she should be able to talk to...& nothing
no progress
so she puts up another front...for herself
she tries to convince herself that everything is going to be okay when deep down inside
...shes screaming
but in public shes got a smile plastered across her face
words cant even begin to describe how she feels
but flying seems to be her only option...& she debates on taking that way out


behind closed doors...
now shes pondering over how to handle the situation @ handshe tries to pray about it but finds that praying about sins may not be sucha grand idea...right?
she's still tryna convince herself that thats what she wants out of life
even tho deep down inside...
on the inside...

shes crying now
knowing that one thing she says could have a huge effect in the long run...

[ITS NOT FINISHED! but i hope you liked it]